From the monthly archives:

May 2007

Teaching to Generation Me: Part Four

by Joe on May 23, 2007

On May 18, I began a 7-part series, offering some thougts about how to teach the Catholic faith to “Generation Me” (those born in the 70s through the 90s; Generation Me, Jean Twenge, M.D.).

Click on the following to read:

Part One: The Decline of Social Rules

Part Two: Excessive Individualism

Part Three: You Can Be Anything You Want

Today, we address another unique characteristic of Generation Me: “the age of anxiety”

The Age of Anxiety – Gen Me has more than other generations but feels worse (in terms of the rates of depression and loneliness). Although they have been relatively free from major traumas such as the World Wars and Vietnam, they are anxious. This is a result of the disproportionate focus on self which magnifies ones’ own disappointments. Gen Me has less of a sense of perspective when it comes to their own disappointments. As a result of putting themselves first and having so much freedom, they experience more loneliness and isolation. They are marrying later and thus experiencing a longer adolescents with more painful break-ups of relationships. Gen Me has more anxiety and stress in relation to college acceptance and job searching because they have such high expectations (that leads to bigger disappointments). They tend to lack the following: stable close relationships, a sense of community, a feeling of safety, and a simple path to adulthood and the workplace.

How Catechists Should Respond: One of the phrases that appears most often in the Bible is “be not afraid” or variations such as “fear not,” “do not fear,” and so on. It would seem that Gen Me is not the first generation to experience fear and anxiety. However, it appears that anxiety is magnified for Gen Me because of their very high expectations which are often unrealistic.

As catechists, we can offer Gen Me an antidote to anxiety and despair: trust in God. Although we have justifiable fears about how dangerous our world can be, we tend to have a much greater fear: we fear that God’s love will not be enough for us. We do not trust that God’s grace is all we need. And so we search for things to place our trust in, only to be betrayed by their inability to satisfy us. Through it all, God invites us to return to him and to place our trust in him. Why is this so hard for Gen Me? Because to trust someone is to admit dependence on them. Gen Me’s focus on the self and independence leaves little room for trust.

We can help Gen Me to cope with anxiety by instilling an attitude of trust. This attitude is highlighted in our Creed and in the Lord’s Prayer. When we say the words, “We believe in one God,” we are saying that we trust God. To pray the words of the creed at Mass is to proclaim a relationship. All too often we think of the creed as a list of doctrinal statements to which we have sworn intellectual assent and adherence. Perhaps if we mentally inserted the word trust wherever the word, believe appears, we would have a different understanding of what it means to profess our faith.

In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray the words, “Thy will be done.” Four simple words. And yet these are among the hardest words to utter, especially for Gen Me. To say, “thy will be done,” is to surrender. That’s something that we don’t do very readily. This world teaches us to fight for control, to win at all costs, to never give in. TV reality shows suggest that they key to survival is the ability to exert one’s will over that of the other contestants. We need to help Gen Me understand that to say “thy will be done” is not a sign of weakness but rather is the only thing that can truly make us strong. Why? Because God’s will is the driving force of the universe. Conspiring with God’s will is the ultimate strategy for strength. Standing in the way of God’s will is the ultimate folly. As we strive to become more like Jesus, the next logical step is to pray in the words that he used and that he taught us: “Thy will be done.”

Bottom Line:  Dependence is beneficial when the one we are dependent on is stronger than we are. To be like a child before God is to realize that God is stronger than we are and that we are in need of his protection. It is no coincidence that right after we pray the Lord’s Prayer, the priest prays that we will be protected from all anxiety. Anxiety results whenever we face something or someone that we feel ill equipped to deal with. When we pray that God’s will be done, and acknowledge that all power belongs to him, we have no more reason to be anxious. And when we are not anxious, we are capable of hope and are filled with peace—the peace of Christ. This is what we can offer to Gen Me!

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Teaching to Generation Me – Part 3

by Joe on May 21, 2007

On May 18, I began a 7-part series, offering some thougts about how to teach the Catholic faith to “Generation Me” (those born in the 70s through the 90s; Generation Me, Jean Twenge, M.D.).

Click on the following to read:

Part One: The Decline of Social Rules

Part Two: Excessive Individualism

Today, we address another unique characteristic of Generation Me: the belief that “you can be anything you want to be”

You Can Be Anything You Want – More than any previous generation, Gen Me has a focus on the self. Since they were very young, Gen Me-ers have been given choices that other generations were not given. Rather than being raised to fit into and contribute to society, Gen Me has been raised to take advantage of opportunity. They have been told to never give up on their dreams and that they can be anything they want to be as long as they put their minds to it. They experience very little regret as long as they feel they did their best. The focus on self has led Gen Me to an obsession with appearance (tattoos, piercings, etc.) Materialism has a high priority for Gen Me.

How Catechists Should Respond: Two things from our Catholic Tradition come to mind when thinking of how we can minister to Gen Me with regards to these issues.

The first is our tradition of an examination of conscience. This practice is an honest self-assessment, recognizing where and how our limitations may have hurt others. Unlike tattoos and piercings that “cover up”, the examination of conscience reveals the truth which sets us free.

The second is the Catholic tradition of living with a spirit of poverty. Gen Me’s notion that they can be anything they want translates into a desire to have everything they want. Materialism, a problem for all generations, is a particularly acute problem for Gen Me. Living with a spirit of poverty is an attitude of detachment from material things. Cheryl Crow captured the essence of this spirit in her song Soak Up the Sun when she sang “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

Bottom line: It’s good to dream dreams and to think great thoughts. It is also very important to have realistic expectations and a healthy sense of limitations. Embracing limitations is OK…in fact it is a key to emotional and spiritual health which is all about surrender and not accumulation. We can help Gen Me to steer clear of the pitfalls of opportunism and materialism by inviting them to recognize how God’s grace comes to us when we let go of other things and to recognize that this grace is everything we need
 

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Teaching to Generation Me – Part 2

by Joe on May 19, 2007

On May 18, I began a 7-part series, offering some thougts about how to teach the Catholic faith to “Generation Me” (those born in the 70s through the 90s; Generation Me, Jean Twenge, M.D.). Click here to read the intro and part 1.

Today, we address another unique characteristic of Generation Me: excessive individualism.

Individualism – Since the time they were very young, Gen Me-ers have been bombarded with messages intended to boost self-esteem. It is imperative that they feel good about themselves. This focus on self-esteem, while well-intentioned, has resulted in a dramatic increase in individualism and narcissism. Gen Me celebrates the individual with an unshakable belief that they are important. The message is: believe in yourself, be yourself, express yourself because you are special.

How Catechists Should Respond – Our self-esteem comes, not from a notion of self-importance, but from the knowledge that we are loved by God even though we are not worthy. In other words, our self-esteem is not a focus on the self as an individual but on the self in relationship with God. In Catholic tradition, self-esteem takes a back seat to humility. It is in the realization of our limitations – our lowliness – that we become open to the grace of God which truly fulfills us. Our finest example of this humility, of course, is Mary, who, in finding out that she is to be the mother of the Lord, directed praise, not to herself but to God, calling herself the handmaid of the Lord. Mary does not magnify her own greatness, but the greatness of God that is being manifested in her life.

To put it bluntly, Catholic spirituality teaches us the following message: it’s not about you. This is not to put down the individual but to put the individual into context: as a member of the community. To be Catholic is to be a member of the Body of Christ. We are not just a loosely connected fellowship of like-minded people. We are organically linked to one another in Christ.

Bottom Line: we need to help Gen Me see the value in humility and to understand that humility is not the act of beating our selves up but of acknowledging that we are in the presence of someone greater than our selves. By inviting Gen Me to consider the virtue of humility, we can help them to recognize and embrace their true limitations while at the same time recognizing the grace of God that comes to us in our weakness. By inviting Gen Me to practice humility, we can help them to recognize their need for community and thus overcome the narcissism and individualism that comes from excessive self-esteem.
 

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Recently I had the pleasure of reading Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More Miserable Than Ever Before (Jean M Twenge, M.D., Free Press, 2006). In her book, Dr. Twenge, herself a member of “Generation Me” (aka, Millennials, Gen Y), those born in the 70s through the 90s, uses findings from a large intergenerational research study (1.3 million respondents over six decades) to reveal how profoundly different today’s young adults are.

Dr. Twenge comments on seven specific unique characteristics of Generation Me (Gen Me) which I have summarized in my own words below. Following each is my own commentary on what this means for us as catechists who are seeking to proclaim the Gospel to a new generation. (Over the next 7 days or so, I’ll post one characteristic per day).

  1. The Decline of Social Rules – Rather than social rules, behavior for Gen Me is driven by individual needs. The rallying cry is “Just do it” and “don’t care what others think.” Gen Me-ers are non-conformists and being different is seen as a virtue. A result of all of this is a decline in manners and a willingness to ignore social taboos.

How Catechists Should Respond: God’s very essence is selfless love. God gave us his only Son. Jesus gave us his life. The Holy Spirit gives us his constant guidance and presence. God loves us with an enduring selfless love. We need to proclaim this selfless love to Gen Me and work with them to see that the only appropriate response to God’s selfless love is our own selfless love for God and for others. Social rules are not simply a way of behaving appropriately in order to conform but are ways we express our selfless love and respect for others as a response to God’s selfless love for us and in recognition of being created in the image and likeness of God.

The people of Israel were jubilant when God gave them the Law on Mount Sinai because they saw it as a sign of how much God loved them and wanted to care for them. We need to proclaim to Gen Me that the Commandments are a gift from God, to protect us from ourselves and from one another when selfishness prevails.

We need to proclaim to Gen Me that we are not called to conformity for the sake of conformity but, rather, are called to conform to Christ who is the perfect revelation of God. By conforming to Christ, we find our true selves and most clearly reflect the image of God.

Bottom line: we need to help Gen Me see that rules do not bind and restrict us, but rather allow us to truly be free. Here’s a metaphor: Let’s say I want to be free to enjoy a good game of golf. However, I am trapped (enslaved) by my inability to swing the club properly. If I get coaching from a golf pro, he or she will teach me the rules of a good golf swing. If I follow these rules, I will be free to truly enjoy the game of golf. In the same way, social rules (and the Commandments in general) free us from our inability to fully engage with and enjoy our neighbors.

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I mentioned in my post yesterday how, in many places of the world, the catechist is seen as one of the most respected people in the Catholic community because he or she is the one who forms disciples of Jesus.

The flipside of this prominence is that, in some countries where the Gospel is a threat to the political and economic status quo, catechists are seen as a threat and they are often singled out as the primary target of violence and even murder.

Today we celebrate the feast of one such person: Saint Peter Lieou, a Chinese native, a convert to Catholicism, and a catechist who was martyred in 1834 during the persecution of Christianity by the Chinese government.

Most of us catechists in the United States do not take our lives into our own hands when we go to teach. This is not true in some parts of the world. May we take inspiration from those catechists who place their lives on the line to impart a way of life that they and we hold firmly as the way to salvation.

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