One more thing about the Advent Reconciliation Service from last week. As the service was winding down and most of the kids had gone to confess their sins to the priests, I saw one priest walk over to another priest to confess. I quietly directed a couple of kids to look over to see that priests go to confession too. One girl’s eyes nearly popped out and she whispered to me, “I thought priests are supposed to be perfect!” I wondered to myself, “Where do they get this from?” I told her that priests are human beings with faults like the rest of us and that they need forgiveness too. It’s no wonder that young people shy away from the thought of a vocation if they think it means being perfect. Yes, we need to teach them a respect for priests and religious, but we also need to help them see that all people, including priests and religious, struggle with the call to holiness…a call we ALL share. In a sense, to be holy is to be perfect but God alone is holy (perfect). When we refer to people as holy, we are saying that God’s presence is revealed in that person. We can all strive to reveal rather than conceal God’s presence in us.

I mentioned in an earlier post that some behavior issues, especially among the boys, had been an ongoing nuisance. Finally, during the class preparing them for reconciliation, I calmly read the riot act to them. I said, “We are talking about God! We are talking about Jesus! To laugh and make light of things during this class is to make light of our relationship with God.” I went on to explain that, like a coach, I’m here to help them learn some knowledge and skills to excel, not in a sport, but in the Catholic way of life, which I firmly believe is “the Way.” That thought proved to be a sobering and positive thought for them. Later, as we discussed examples of mortal and venial sin, I proposed that misbehaving in religious education class could be considered a venial sin (“a failure to observe necessary moderation,” CCC glossary). This was an eye-opener for them and seemed to open the way for much-improved behavior as the class progressed. A sprinkle of guilt, used sparingly and wisely, can serve as an excellent tool for growth.

P.S. As long as we’re on the subject of “children behaving badly,” I have a free gift for you: Ten Tips for Maintaining Discipline. Just click on the link in the column to the right titled “Free Catechist Tips.”

In preparing the eighth graders for the Advent Reconciliation Service, I got into a good discussion with them about sin. Kids are full of questions about what “qualifies” as a mortal sin and what can be characterized as a venial sin. I was encouraged by how comfortable they were in asking questions about some very difficult subjects, such as violence, homosexuality, and adultery. One of the boys asked, “Is sex bad?” They all looked astonished when I replied, “No, it’s a sacrament!” My explanation of the sacrament of matrimony was, I believe, the first time most of them had heard a discussion of sex begin with the positive.  

One of my students just won’t quit. He talks out of turn, makes noises, laughs, and draws attention to himself every chance he gets. I’ll soon be taking him aside for a heart-to-heart, but I will be sure to focus on his behavior and not on him. In cases like this, I strive to say things like “You know, you’re really a great kid and very likable . . . that’s why it’s so disappointing that your behavior has been so poor. It’s really beneath you to act that way. You have so much more potential than you are showing, and I’m challenging you now to live up to that potential.” I believe that to discipline someone is to call them to something greater, not to bring them down. Tell me about a situation involving discipline that you have faced or are facing.